Healthy Online Dating: Which swipe will keep you away from imposters?

Online dating services seem to be gaining popularity in recent years, particularly due to the pandemic. However, while there are pros to using such matching making services, there are also cons (Unsplash)

In the quest to find a perfect match, people often fall prey to the wrong swipe. Thinking back, I ask myself of all those wrong swipes, what might it have led to, if my instinct didn’t urge me to run.

Very recently, I came across an article by Lauren Goode on Vice, describing how she encountered an army of bots on Hinge. Not only could I relate, but it also made me think about my own experience on the app and the wider impact negative interactions can have on online daters in general.

Well, in keeping with the general MO of dating apps, I once connected with this super good looking lawyer, he had clever banter and didn’t hold back on compliments either. All a win-win for me’ why not right?

I wanted to come up with something original for our initial hang out, so I suggested axe throwing. The next thing I know I’m unmatched. My initial thought was maybe too violent of an activity for a first hang out? Oh well. But then he pops up on my Tinder as well. Guess he accidentally unmatched me on Hinge? Queen of second chances, I was like okay, let’s give this a go again. His Tinder profile was pretty much similar to his Hinge one, except for one additional picture. And this time around I didn’t suggest Axe Throwing 😅

But after asking him why he’d unmatched earlier, I was unmatched again, this time on Tinder. Guess he was my “Paulbot” as Lauren mentioned in her article, or just bad luck on my side. I won’t bore you with all the details of romance scams, as we already covered them earlier this year, all thanks to the Tinder Swindler.

Nevertheless, this behaviour seems to keep repeating itself. It was termed “romance scams” / “swindling” in February. Fast forward a month, and we now have “pig-butchering scams”, which is practically the same as romance scams, i.e. they gain the victim’s trust over time and then con them in financial transactions. The only difference being that “pig-butchering” scammers are usually based in China.

Taking a step back, why do people partake in such behaviour? Could it be social acceptance? Is it because the social standards for a perfect match demand having a six-pack and being super wealthy? Or do these bad-faith actors just get their kicks out of scamming people?

Besides the financial loss, it also takes a toll on the victim’s mental health. When someone is truly out there, in the quest for a genuine love match, only to be dealt with by an imposter, that’s a huge setback. In addition to feeling depressed, this could also make the victim lose their self-esteem and feel even more lonely than they initially might be feeling.

“More than half a year on, Grace is still rebuilding her self-confidence.” ~ Strait Times (February, 2022).

The online dating services market is here to stay, as can be seen by its growing revenue of almost USD $12.89 billion expected by 2028. So what can we do to ensure that healthy interactions take place on these dating apps? Would better detection of profiles help? In many instances, there are also minors posing as adults on dating apps. While dating apps are already doing their best to keep their users safe, more needs to be done. A bad experience not only affects the user but can also cause churn for the dating app service.

Here are some tips on keeping safe:

1. Always perform a reverse image search on profiles that are unverified. Better to be safe than sorry.
2. Look for inconsistencies in the user profile. You see any red flags, believe it and swipe left. Or if you’ve already matched, unmatch.
3. Try to match with verified profiles.
4. Don’t hesitate to report it if you have an uncomfortable experience with someone.
5. Ask for support if you’ve been impacted by abuse or loss as a result of an interaction on a dating app.

If you would like more information or are exploring options for content moderation for your dating platforms, or you’d like to find out more about options for automatic AI enhanced moderation, contact us at contact@checkstep.com. Alternatively, you can also visit our website www.checkstep.com.